On Invisibility

9 Apr Coach Beiste on 'Glee', played by Dot Jones. Dot has nearly exclusively played stereotypically lesbian characters throughout her career.

I am an invisible [person]. I am a [person] of substance, of flesh and bone, fiber and liquids – and I might even be said to possess a mind. I am invisible, understand, simply because people refuse to see me.

Have you ever felt invisible? Like you can walk down the street and people don’t even see you? That they look right through you? That to get attention from anyone, you have to flail your arms in the air and scream at the top of your lungs, “I’M RIGHT HERE! Why don’t you see me?!”

I have.

Sure, people see me. They see the unique clothes I wear. They see my tattoos and my mohawk and my piercings. They see them to the point that they sometimes ask invasive personal questions and try to touch my body without my consent when they talk about my modifications or my clothing. They tell me they know someone else who’s “goth” or “punk”. But that’s not the kind of invisible I’m talking about. I don’t feel like I completely don’t exist to anyone.

I’m sexually invisible, romantically invisible.

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Now the Jockey Can Wear A Blinder, Too!

30 Jan

There’s no question that blindfolds are wonderful toys to have in your collection. Whether you’re interested in light and sensual BDSM or you’re a heavy player, blindfolds come in handy. For beginners and people who like to occasionally dabble into the world of kink, using a blindfold to restrict sight can heighten the other senses (especially touch) and turn a simple feather or ice cube into a thrilling sensory experience. For heavier players, blindfolds are almost a necessity for play that involves more total sensory deprivation or tease and denial. But the trick is that there are probably hundreds of blindfolds on the market, all wildly different in construction and price. It can be hard to find a really well-made, comfortable blindfold at a low price.

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Protected: Arrested on the Brooklyn Bridge

2 Oct

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Whipspider Rubberworks’ Ghost: The Loving Dead

21 Sep

The Whipspider Rubberworks Ghost dildo is one of those toys to which people have an interesting reaction the first time they see it. Whether that reaction is shock or excitement, it’s definitely a memorable and eye-catching toy.

A 6-1/8” long and 1-5/8” diameter dildo with a base suitable for a strap-on harness, the Ghost is one of the more uniquely-shaped toys on the market. A mournful silicone skeleton with very detailed bones from head to fingertips, fading into graveyard mist, the Ghost is available in Tombstone (a bluish gray) or Red Velvet (a sanguineous deep red). It even glows in the dark! It’s an interesting toy to watch in use, either on the giving end of a strap-on or watching your partner engage in solo play. And regardless of how unusual it may look, the real surprise is how good it feels! It was such an interesting sensation, it was almost creepy!
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‘Tail of a Bondage Model’

21 Sep

There are a lot of erotic videos out there that claim to have tell a story that isn’t just about the sex. But so many of those don’t succeed. There’s no sense of realism, no sense of connection with the characters. The “story” just serves as a vehicle to get the “characters” to have sex, not that there’s anything inherently wrong with that.

But this isn’t one of those videos.

‘Tail of a Bondage Model’ is an autobiographical story about Madison Young’s foray into the world of fetish modeling and erotica. Sure, there’s some really hot, erotic scenes. But this is also the story about how she was affected by being a bondage model – the travelling to shoots, the effect on her relationship with her partner, what it’s like behind the scenes at a bondage shoot. And it’s good as a short film, too – not just about the orgasms (and there are plenty!), but also an artistic and intelligent window into Madison’s life. It was written, directed, narrated, and starring Madison, telling her own “tail”.

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Salsa Your Way to Bliss!

21 Sep

Many people find that a small vibrator, like a bullet or egg, is an almost essential addition to their toy collection. There are lots of plugs and dildos on the market that can vibrate when a bullet is added to a small hole in the bottom, designed for just that purpose. And there are a lot of people who just like these powerful pocket toys on their own to stimulate very localized erogenous zones, like the clitoris, nipples, anus, and wherever else their imagination may take them. The only problem with these little guys? Most of them are battery-operated. That may not seem like a huge issue, and it’s really not…but wouldn’t a rechargeable toy be so much better? No more worrying about having extra watch batteries on hand, especially since there are about a million different types that all look the same. No more steadily weakening toy as the cell batteries drain, especially on more powerful settings. No more toys that break after a couple of months, because — let’s face it — battery-operated toys just don’t last as long. Sounds great, right? But maybe too good to be true?

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‘Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance & Submission’

20 Sep

(Cross-posted from Sexploratorium.)

Most books about BDSM will either teach you a skill (like rope bondage) or provide theoretical inspiration (by walking readers through different roleplays, either instructionally or through fiction). They assume that you have some interest in learning a new skill, which is (of course) an essential part of exploring the lifestyle. But what if you want to get inside the heads of BDSM players, either to find common ground or to learn why they do what they do? Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance & Submission will provide just that. Through interviews compiled by husband/wife team Gloria and William Braeme, Different Loving reads as a scholarly composition that examines the Leather/SM lifestyle, almost as an anthropological study. Over one hundred participants provide their experiences and perspectives on everything from S&M and D/s dynamics to cross-dressing to various fetishes and fantasies. Interviewees detail how they got into the lifestyle, how it makes them feel, and what they think BDSM means to them. Different Loving provides an accessible avenue into the minds of kinksters, and will enlighten readers of all types; whether you’re a curious novice, a seasoned kink veteran, or even totally sure you’re “vanilla” but want to figure out what all of this S&M stuff is all about, this book is an interesting read.
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